We all know that a major goal for Birthright Israel is getting Jews to date and marry other Jews. In sports blog Deadspin’s lurid series of stories on hookups gone awry due to drunkenness and other incompetence, we learn of an episode where Birthright nearly produced a momentary hookup, but failed to do so.
The story (last on that link), is about “Craig” and “this hot tall blonde from California was on my trip and I wanted to hook up with her.” Since, “the only reason for this event was to bring nice young Jews together to get drunk and hook up,” Craig reasons that at a night activity with “tons of wine…I think this is the best time to make my move.”
Of course, Craig notes “And this trip was FREE!”
And sure enough, he gets her to walk into the dark desert with him, and:
I start hooking up with this hot blonde, and even a little sand in the mouth from time to time wasn’t going to get in my way of enjoying this, not now. So we take it to the ground and continue hooking up and picking things up a bit and then we roll over and……..Ouch!
As I rolled over I felt this incredibly sharp stinging sensation in my left calf and the next thing I know my calf just went numb.
He nonetheless bravely tries to soldier on, but “As time went on we continue hooking up for another 10 minutes eventually I could not take the pain anymore, and told her we had to head back.”
We get back and they believe I got bitten by a large desert ants, those things freaking kill and are huge. So not only did I blow the hookup, I couldn’t feel my left calf for a day and a half.
Craziest thing about the story? Michael Steinhardt’s now hired a team of exterminators to fumigate the entire Israeli desert.
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